He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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