Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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