I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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