This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
