If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
