I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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