He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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