i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
