Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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