i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
