yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
