Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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