you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
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I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
how drunk are you?