I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend