He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock