So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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