You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
