I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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