Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.