i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
