you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do herpes really smell.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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