i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize