I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
