Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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