Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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