I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
