The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
