I met the friendliest cop last night
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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