Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
