just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I intend to get homeless drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize
