I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
