TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Houston, we have a blender
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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