Sry I called you an 8
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
