i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My feet surprised me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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