i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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