I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
