So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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