Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
