wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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