I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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