i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
