If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize