You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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