Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
