Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
