I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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