Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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