3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
