How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
