Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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