I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
