i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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