your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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