so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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