he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Help. Why am I so naked?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
