all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
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wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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