he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
