And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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