I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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