erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
In America we eat man semen.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
