where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.