Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I wanna come home

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

And do what?

(270): View more from Kentucky

Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.

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(270): I wanna come home (1-270): And do what? (270): Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat. http://tfl.nu/i6u9

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(941): View more from Florida

I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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(941): I was born with a shot glass in my hand http://tfl.nu/41xg

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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(+44): the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men. http://tfl.nu/tbrv

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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(908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv. http://tfl.nu/oqts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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(920): I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips http://tfl.nu/g3ng

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(516): View more from New York

Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads

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(516): Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads http://tfl.nu/zprq

Replies (2) Good night (2627) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.

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(512): We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots. http://tfl.nu/ta1s

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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(412): He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead. http://tfl.nu/inh1

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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(214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(910): So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up... http://tfl.nu/q907

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(904): View more from Florida

Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.

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(904): Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/qtln

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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(702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk

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(615): View more from Tennessee

No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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(615): No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night http://tfl.nu/p85n

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(514): View more from Quebec

please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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(514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

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(613): I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going. http://tfl.nu/0q0d

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