You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located