Duck Duck Cougar?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I look better un-naked...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.