Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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(432): View more from Texas

I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

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(352): View more from Florida

Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

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(303): View more from Colorado

And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

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(425): View more from Washington

Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.

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