Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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  (307): yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP http://tfl.nu/4nbd
  Replies (8) Good night (3276) Bad night (819)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...

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  (706): Just donated money to a kid for her softball team. (706): Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years... http://tfl.nu/z5u3
  Replies (34) Good night (4219) Bad night (848)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break

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  (317): idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break http://tfl.nu/7szo
  Replies (16) Good night (6206) Bad night (653)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?

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  (585): just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/qttt
  Replies (56) Good night (1281) Bad night (4272)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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  (585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt
  Replies (26) Good night (8102) Bad night (1406)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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  (720): she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod http://tfl.nu/2sd3
  Replies (6) Good night (5819) Bad night (1192)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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  (914): I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired. http://tfl.nu/rh17
  Replies (11) Good night (1051) Bad night (2831)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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  (763): I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder. http://tfl.nu/dpkn
  Replies (7) Good night (2606) Bad night (1238)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5237) Bad night (964)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

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  (317): Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road. http://tfl.nu/vlcv
  Replies (19) Good night (3436) Bad night (728)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.

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  (804): Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now. http://tfl.nu/gokp
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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  (254): What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch? http://tfl.nu/qe37
  Replies (11) Good night (1752) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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  (614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (398)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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  (606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS

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  (404): HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS http://tfl.nu/7wbc
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (285)

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