I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?